03 Easier Done than Said: LOVE

NOTE:

1. This post is a result of the inexplicable and sudden occurrence of the title of the post in the writer's mind. I don't know what he was thinking about then! *EviL*
2. Sometimes I write out of experience. Sometimes, on mere observations and knowledge. Well, today is a case of the latter... Yeah!!
3. This is no place to confess your love for someone. NO!!
4. After composing about half of this post, I thought of adding this one too:
   This is NOT a handbook to a successful love life. If you have any doubts, PLEASE READ #2

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Some things are Easier said than done. But love; Against the rule book? Well, when has it not been? *wink-wink*

Barring the love of one's family, hereby, I speak of love:

Call it 'love' and everybody starts jumping around like it is the 1st of January!
Call it, as per the Oxford dictionary - Love (link), 'a strong feeling of affection' and nothing seems to be boiling now inside of you.
But it is just that!

Honestly, I do not know what love is like. But I am sure it is nothing like those damnably sweet fairy tales one witnesses on the big screen. You should be rightfully informed at this point that I am referring mostly to the Bollywood (and all the other desi woods available, we have a lot of them, seriously) 'Masala' that I, with my fellow brothers and sisters of India, have been exposed to throughout my innocent childhood. Hey! why is that 'innocent' italicized? *Evil agaiN* - A part of my brain just doesn't keep quiet..

Being naive and innocent (I'm sincere this time, so stop it!), at such a small age one tends to be quite gullible and accepting of these fairy tales. The brain remembers and registers these 'happy-endings' quite nicely, sadly obsolete to the real-life equations. One is thus led to expect the same of one's life.

The happy ending. Does it exist? Can it? Yeah, why not! I have no problem with that part of the picture which you hold. But it just doesn't happen the way it is shown to be. No!
You don't just find it out-of-nowhere and fall MADLY-IN-LOVE, while you are on a holiday some thousand miles away from home, or out club-partying, or for that matter fixing a car in your garage-shop! You just don't. That is not how it goes.

Love needs time. It is like the 'Seed' that you sowed one fine Sunday (link) morning, hoping that it would turn into a magnificent 'Tree' some day, because you knew that the quality of the Seed was promising. What I mean to say is, you don't get the Tree but the Seed. You mistake the Seed to be the Tree. And you expect it to bear fruit as if it were one. That's not going to happen. One needs to nurture the Seed. Look after it. Make it grow. Provide it with all that it needs.

But before that, the Seed should be sown. And, it should be sown by the two bearers together. I will give you two analogies here. One with the main storyline that we have (the Seed-Tree analogy). And the other, this:

         Imagine a class that has been taught by a teacher for say, a month. And then a different teacher takes up the responsibility for the rest of the course. It would be really difficult for the new teacher to carry it forward from there and also for the students to understand anything, given that the new teacher doesn't quite hold the basics the way the old teacher does.
The students have been trained as per the old teacher's liking. What if it is not compatible with the new teacher?

The Seed-Tree analogy:
         You can't expect someone to blindly climb your Tree. They wouldn't know anything about it. Whether the Tree is strong enough or not. Would they like to live on such a Tree. Do they want to live on your Tree.

The Tree consists in the dreams, the expectations, the desires and the life one has seen and hoped for, for oneself. So it is important that both of them sow the Seed, together.


You may be thinking, "Easier Done that Said. Whatever happened of the title? You didn't write about it anywhere!" 
Well, let me tell you. Writing is easier said than done. (Clap please!)
But, here it is: 
 
One should not be fearful of mentioning the Seed. It should be clear to you by now. Still, if not, here is what I mean. Firstly, do NOT sow the Seed alone. Ask yourself, first. You shouldn't end up wanting to cut down a Tree you have someone sitting on, waiting for you. Then, say it to the Other. After that, don't be afraid. If it is a 'no', so be it. Not sowing the Seed is anytime better than finding yourself sitting on a Tree that is going to be cut down anyway. Why take the fall if you are not sure whether the Seed is promising or not.
So, say it!


"What if I end up taking the Fall after we had supposedly built a Tree 'together'?"
Well, think of a farmer who grows crops for a living. Suppose the crop he nurtured with all his efforts and hopes yielded nothing. Or, what if, due to some unseen circumstances say, a storm, all his crops died. What does he do now?
I can tell you one thing for sure. If he only cried about the unyielding crop and did nothing, he would ultimately perish.

So one needs to move on and cut down the old, useless Tree. Remove the Roots, they will only hinder the growth of a new Tree. It will be difficult as the Roots are well inside the ground (Life), but only then can you get a new, healthy Tree. Sow a new Seed. But choose the seed wisely, hoping for the best, again.

Remember, the Seed is out there, somewhere. And it will come to you, at the right time.

So.. lets make LOVE, Easier Said than Done

CAUTION: Jumping to some other Tree is also not advisable!