We all know and crib about various kinds of vicious cycles in our lives. Hundreds of thousands of articles by self-help gurus — some successful and some not so much — have explained about the omnipresent vicious cycles of procrastination, over-eating and over-sleeping or bad relationships, among others. We all want to grow. But how many of us really outgrow them? We all want to change. Why then, are these vicious cycles still an integral part of our daily lives? Why are they still ingrained in our habits the way they are?
To understand this evergreen problem with humans, we turn to my ever-reliable friend (field of study) who goes by the name, psychology. Psychology is the cornerstone for studying human behavior and decision making, while Statistics is the mathematical language of our brain’s thinking. (A post explaining this concept real soon!)
Daniel Kahneman explains in his famous book, “Thinking, Fast and Slow”, the two decision making hubs of the brain — system 1 and system 2 — where most of the decisions taken by a fast-thinking system 1 are not statistically coherent. Nevertheless, being incorrect doesn’t negate the fact that our brains use statistics as the mathematical language to think about events and probabilities. This incorrectness is precisely the reason why it is important to address statistics in all topics pertaining to human behavior and decision making.
“Psychology is the concept and Statistics, the language”
Desired Change: States of Mind and The Psychology of your Brain
Vicious cycles are nothing but small habits we have formed over the course of our conscious lifetime. These are what we can call the ‘dormant’ or ‘lazy’ states of our mind where we are over-comfortable with a high inertia to action or change while being content and momentarily happy about our life. They are formed when we are not looking to achieve anything and that state is precisely enough for our self-satisfaction
“Habits reflect a state of mind and a way of life rather than a set of independent decisions you make on a daily basis”
The change we seek — if one is fed up of these vicious cycles — requires to be understood in a way that it can be achieved. What we fail to realize most of the times is that the change we seek is never as simple as just waking up on time and not eating junk food. These (small) habits are not a set of random functions in our lives that we just need to be better at. We fail to understand and internalize the vast and complex context within which the numerous (small) habits we have formed are important and essential to be correct. We fail to see the bigger picture — the frame (state) of mind that enables or disables our capability to have the right habits; the right cycles. The right habits are a way of life.
“The kind of change required dictates the way we change”
The Way we Change: Random Variables and Vector Algebra
Mere knowledge about ‘good habits’ isn’t enough. Not only do you need to have the bigger context (the understanding that habits reflect a state of mind and a way of life rather than a set of independent decisions you make on a daily basis), but also the motivation (value) to pursue a change. You can’t achieve a state unless you are inclined to reach it.
The only way you are willing to change is when you see value in the process. Find your value. Ask yourself “What will I gain if I do this the correct way?” or “How will I utilize my extra time if I stop over-sleeping?” Without the right motivation, efforts wither off as you cannot sustain what the change asks of you.
“Vision provides Motivation and Direction to our efforts, making them a vector than a mere scalar”
Imagine yourself driving a car. Lets say that a good habit is to drive 10 miles every day. You could very well go around in circles to ‘just complete’ your daily quota. I can guarantee that there’ll be a time it all seems pointless. And it will be, unless you are looking for some value out of it. Unless you are applying these (small) efforts in a manner that it all leads to something bigger and desirable. This is where the right motivation provides a sustained direction to your efforts so that these (small) habits seem worth the change. Without direction, there is no achievement as you lack the context of the change mid-way.
Until you have something to look forward to and work towards, ‘random variables’ like Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and silly games will keep you engaged and happy, diverting you from your desired changes and state of mind and digging deeper habit-holes into the fabric of your personality.
The Idea of Investing
The idea of investment is much more relevant to our lives than in terms of mere personal finance.
Human beings have 3 primary resources — mental energy, physical energyand time and 1 virtual resource — money (created to barter the three primary resources amongst each other). The concept of investment is that you expend or apply your resources in a sustained manner into something that grows over time to give you something bigger and desirable later on. Unfortunately in today’s date, investment seems to be considered relevant only in the case of the virtual resource, money.
The realization that investing in yourself — by improving (small) habits — reaps long term benefits is thus important in realizing the potential value of these habits. Only when you put yourself under a ‘long-term’ microscope, will these efforts to change seem valuable and important at this point in time.
Vision (motivation): the desire to and the direction of the required change and Context (of desired state of mind): to have the patience and confidence in changing the right way and over time — are two equally necessary aspects of changing habits in a way that is sustainable and in the end, beneficial.
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