Each one of us is a human being.
As individuals, we define ourselves as we grow up. One of the most important aspects of life is that we believe in it. That there is a meaning to the whole process, that it is a means to something. We take pride in who we are.
Deep down we believe in our story, our very own story
WHO ARE YOU?
What if someone asked you this? You could try to describe yourself right now. Take a pencil and write a small introduction. Go on.. I insist!
If you talk to people you meet at different places and try asking them about themselves, you will see a common habit.
Most of us define ourselves by the title of our current job or our job profile. If students, we define ourselves first by the department or the university we study in. Somehow, it is more important for us to show where we are, over anything else.
But if you think about it,
Whatever we are/think/do, everything seems to be horrifyingly common. If you are a scientist, there are hundreds and thousands of them like you. Or may be an architect or a businessman, from a particular faith, place or company. There are many like you out there.
Or it be could be feelings. Most of us have dealt with what someone is dealing with right now. Every. One. Family and friends, joy and sorrow, hatred and love, frustration and determination, success and failure.
So what does this mean on a personal level? Where’s the uniqueness that we feel?
YOU AND YOURSELF
There are some simple faults in our thinking and perspective of ourselves.
Most of the times, our thoughts and actions are a reaction to externalities rather than a projection of what’s inside. We define ourselves by the work we do. By the place we are at. But that is wrong; at least in the sense that it is incomplete!
Seeing it the other way, we should define our thoughts and actions by who we are. The way we respond in a situation, the way we decide or the work we do, everything should be a projection of who we are and not what the situation is. That is the way we should see our thoughts, actions and work. The former is the way others see us.
Once you successfully start expressing yourself through your thoughts and your work, that will be satisfying and true, and that will be worth telling others because that will be you.
TIME AND SPACE
I think the uniqueness also comes in the order of how and when things happen. It is the evolution from what we were to who we are; the concept of time and space. All of us start from very different beginnings and are thrown into very different circumstances. Each one learns things differently; at different times, through different means and sometimes, under totally different circumstances. So, it is not what you are (state of things) that matters, as much as the journey, which is never-ending and ever-evolving.
And it’s these nuances that make our lives unique and hence, special. The difference between you and the one sitting in front of you makes you, you and makes her, her. We need to embrace our journey and take control of it.
Taking Control
Firstly, Why don’t we do it?
Most of the times, it’s the fear of being who we are and not being accepted as such that keeps us from expressing ourselves. Sometimes, the fear of failure also drives us away from accepting certain facts and taking black-and-white decisions based on our intrinsic values.
But over time it can result in a lot of things stuffed within you. This can be harmful as you slowly, unconsciously grow more frustrated and tired. Imagine an inflated balloon which can only take in as much air before the tension overpowers its capability to contain the pressure inside it.
So, what are you pursuing? (Content of one’s story)
The answer is very simple, once you understand yourself. And trust me, it will take a maximum of 5–10 words to describe it. Obviously, you can be pursuing more than one thing.
But you need to get that feeling and keep asking yourself whether what you are doing is really worthy of your time and efforts or not. Because both these resources are limited. Not only limited, but they are also expended in every activity you do, from resting to working, to eating or playing.
So the first step is to get to know yourself. As soon as possible. Deep down, there’s a lot of stuff within us. We just fail to embrace it at a constant magnitude and in a steady manner. The externalities keep us busy and drive us away from the reality within us.
Ask yourself. Is what I am doing what I really want to do? Is the way I am behaving being somehow altered by the situation?
THE LITMUS TEST
Here are the 3 key things to keep in mind while taking decisions, whenever you are starting or doing anything:
a) Is it consistent (with you)?
b) Is it of value (to you)?
c) Is it healthy (for you)?
If the option in front of you passes these 3 tests, you can be sure about your decision. At least there will be no regrets!
THE DISTRACTIONS
It is very easy to go after what others have and you hence desire. But it is important at such times to gauge if it is what you really want. Investing your time and energy, amongst other resources, will force you to give lesser time to who you really are. Going through the litmus test helps in such situations from diverting too much.
Desiring someone else’s life is desiring his/her state of things. It is again not the journey. The story is what sets you apart. The amalgamation of all the ingredients of your story, with time and space playing their integral part in the journey.
PRESENTATION
I read this very interesting logic on this blog
“A movie always has two dimensions. One, the Content. The other being the Presentation of that content.”
I will extrapolate this theory to all kinds of stories. Content and Presentation. As the story is worth writing and telling, we must learn how to present it also. Your story is the one unique thing you really have. Why wouldn’t you present it in the best possible way!?
Great stories vs Extraordinary stories
Reaching a high level in one’s life is something everyone wants to achieve. But one must understand one’s motivation behind such aspirations. Asking yourself this simple question helps: Do you ‘want’ it or do you want to ‘achieve’ it?
An extraordinary story would consist of two qualities — High level of original content and Good presentation. Achieving these two feet becomes very simple once we embrace our own stories, set out to single-mindedly define them by ourselves and show the world who we really are.
Conclusion
And hence, it is our… duty, if I may, that we write our own little story in such a fashion that we are proud of it, that we are the makers of it and that it is to be told.
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